I am Me.

Sleep awakens, rise the Sun

when i wake up in the middle of the night,
still tangled in my warm sheets,
the black void that engulfs me,
makes my mind go weak.
and my body trembled for something
always, out of reach.

and when i close my lids and think of sleep,
i see my walls covered in light,
dawn has arrived, leaving me
no peace.

The Flower Garden

In my garden, there lay a rose.
A subtle light that each morn’ grows,
and sends her scent on my lips.
And with each day i smell her kiss,
the touch, the sight, is bliss,
yet lovely as she is,
she waits, almost mourning,
for the sweet rain pouring.

i am found.

i was scared, so i ran away – and when i came back, i held a hand that not only comforted, but also secured mine in his.

to this day, i am found, with no regrets shattering my peace. embracing what is life that is ahead of me.

The Four Letter Word

Love is your love, and how you make of it; and love is his love, different from yours.

{ It’s ALL because of the movies and romantic books I’ve read, that filled my mind and body with wretched romanticism.

It dawned on me that both of us were too different in the way that we love, that it is almost too hard to bear and too complicated to make amends. I see what I want to see, he sees what he wants to see. Somehow, it’s all the same, but why is it that a simple word can create so much drama? }

[ I lov

e to l

o ve.

It is so beautiful in its every shape and form, even the tears that floods my being is wonderful, when shed for him. And cry I will for the love in me that is in his hands, will always be brought out. ]

He says he does not believe ‘en L’Amour‘. The love that is depicted through popular vote; nice, wonderful, fairy-tale like, dream-like, etc. etc.

- Do you prefer to love with your head and be safe, or with your heart and be happy?

He loves with his mind, always thinking of solutions, always assessing the situation, happy but restricted.

I believe in LOVE. Yes, the love that is wonderful, and dream-like. I am not naive, thus I most certainly do not hope for a knight in shining armor, however I prefer to love with my heart and be happy. Whether unsafe or wrong, I feel that it does not matter anymore. The actions and experiences one has to encounter when in-love, is only natural, it is only the question of how you let your love live.

Lack of motivation

I am registering for summer courses next week. It’s been awhile since I haven’t really stepped into school to study. I’m not about to make any more excuses, it all just became so pathetic. Even to my ears, it sounds stupid.

It’s been a year since I was kicked out. I thought studies were a breeze, that I could do everything without really putting effort into it. Everything came to me, without me doing anything. However, it became obvious that I lacked all the knowledge that would have helped me succeed, the knowledge that I would have acquired if only I motivated myself to work harder. Results were catastrophic. I drove myself into a pit, where now I am struggling to climb up.

A lot of things have changed, why can’t this? Why do I always have to be in some stupid fuckin loophole?

the search for true happiness…?!?

It’s been more than a week since I came back from vacation. Everything’s almost back to normal, I guess. I’m restarting work tomorrow, chez Metro. aaaaagHHH! I’m back to the start.

Manu’s looking for an apartment to live in. Since I don’t have much to do and he’s busy like hell, I’m helping him find his way, I guess. Can’t say if it’s his own benefit or mine that motivates me… I am quite glad that he is finally cutting loose from his mommy trail. I believe it is for his own good that he does this now more than ever, and not a moment longer. And of course, yaaaaaaaaaaah! finally, more privacy! (Dirty little girl!) *sigh

SO! If anyone, by luck, is reading this, and happens to find something…
We are looking for:
3 1/2 – 1 bdr – ~$500 location: NDG, CDN, CSL, TMR, DT (montreal, qc)

I’ve been away for awhile now…

Vacation is over…

I’ve been away for a month and a week, and it seems like I’ve attached myself to this place and don’t want to leave. I did not expect it to be this way, but it is. I miss my life, but I’m leaving another part of me here.

A New Day

The older you get, the more challenges you encounter. Reminiscing about the past, we acknowledge that life was simpler when we were young and carefree. However it is so easy to forget how it felt like back then, with all the changes that occur in our lives now.

Needs, wants, desires, they all change! The search for happiness is a never-ending journey that we strive to fulfill. It is not so much our happiness that is difficult to accomplish, but the sorting of our demands that results in the search, that is harder to perform.

As I look in front of me now, although it seems nothing has been affected, habits are still unchanged, time is still moving forward… I feel that every day is a new day.

This is the beginning…

“At every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss.”
- Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes